The great bar band battle 2019 lineup:
Comprised of five fresh-faced articling students, Barely Legal was formed in 2016 as a means to mitigate their plummeting popularity within the University of Calgary law school social scene. This self-indulgent and misguided vanity project soon took on a life as its own, as its members began to schedule band practice during their Mining Law lectures. These efforts to ditch school became so routine that their self-proclaimed band leader actually showed up to the Mining Law final exam under the erroneous assumption that he too was enrolled in that class.
Originally performing as The Hung Jury, a moniker since retired due to complaints from a band member’s wife regarding its inaccuracy, the band became renowned for their raucous Law Show sets. Relying heavily on gags such as cowbell strip teases and melodica vape solos to distract from their questionable musical abilities, the band quickly developed a cult following amongst drunk law students whose earholes don’t work very good. The pinnacle of their career was their carousing headlining set at the 2018 Law Show, during which multiple girls cried for some reason. The show was so successful as to lead their drummer to suggest that “we should try to write some originals or something”, a proposal that was scoffed at by the other, self-aware members of the band.
Barely Legal are thrilled to be invited to play the 2019 Great Bar Band Battle, as the event will be a great opportunity to raise money for charity, publicly plead for hire-backs and provide a shameless backdrop for their newest Tinder profile pics.
Still featuring the original lineup of Curtis Wolff (guitar/bass, "glue guy"), Jesse Standing (guitar/bass, great kisser), Austin Ward (drums, nice hair), Breton Gaunt (vocals, band dad), Iain Mingo (guitar/keyboards, heartbreaker).
Harvey and the specters
Harvey and the Specters don't do anything by the book because they've built their musical career around one thing: winning. Described by many fans as the lovechild of Rivers Cuomo, Ally McBeal, Freddie Mercury, Atticus Finch and Justin Bieber, Harvey and the Specters took home the prize for Fan Favourite in their debut at the 2014 Battle of the Bar Bands.
When they take the stage you can never be sure what music will come out, or what instruments they will play, but you can be sure that you will have a good time. Their suits might be a little too tight and their ties might be a little too skinny, but their music will literally make you the happiest person on earth
alarming her majesty
Nick Lo (guitar, vocals) and Austin Paladeau (drums) are alumni of the infamous Thompson Rivers University law band Kang-Brown ft. The Fly By Sniffs. The Sniffs legendary tours Unlawful Search and Seizure at the Commodore and Medical Malpractice Mixer saw the band play to sold out venues and rabid fans. The bands third outing, dubbed the First Savings Center Fiasco, ultimately led to sanctions and the band breaking up. Reuniting in Calgary, Lo and Paladeau connected with George Wong (bass, vocals) to form the original lineup of Alarming Her Majesty.
George Wong previously played bass for the University of Alberta’s Law Show productions of Alawddin and Harry Lawter and is always willing to lend his talents to a good legal pun. George previously toured with Hello Kelly (not to be confused with the cartoon cat, Hello Kitty) whose biggest hit was based off of a Robert Munsch book. In addition to holding down the low end for Alarming Her Majesty, George likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.
AHM found its superstar when Greg von Euw (vocals) joined, hot off his sold out shows at the Plaza Theatre. While his performances were well received, the destruction of a car live on stage led to his being barred for life from the venue, and all of his attempts to get back on the Plaza's stage under his own name have been cut off at the pass. With AHM, Greg intends to one day return to the Plaza's stage (discreetly), once again destroy a car live on stage (not discreetly), and this time be banned as part of a group, instead of as a sole performer. Greg is also famous on the Karaoke circuit, mostly for his dancing which has been described by some as "Ridiculous", and glass-crackingly high falsetto. Hold onto your dogs folks - they're gonna come runnin'.
The Dissent has been the official rock band of the University Saskatchewan College of Law since the late 80s, with the longest standing member being current Dean Martin Phillipson on drums.
John and Loni joined the Dissent in 2009, Micah in 2010, and finally cute little Paul in 2011. The band prided itself on playing over 30 songs for a charity gig with minimal practice until Micah Chartrand, winner of “Most Stressed Out First Year Law Student”, whipped them into shape with regular practice times, strict diets, sleep schedules, and heavy cardio. That lasted for about five minutes until everyone just told Micah to shut up, and the band went back to being cool again. Since that time, there have been many versions of the Dissent at the U of S College of Law, but few have been as eclectic and well-rounded as the legendary 2009-2011 group:
Vocals - Loni da Costa, Borden Ladner Gervais LLP - Retired pro softball player turned big shot litigation partner. Has committed to paying the band’s bar tab after the show.
Bass - John Sanche, Burnet, Duckworth & Palmer LLP - The Zen master and chill guru of the group, he seems to know a lot of strange and mysterious things. No one knows if this unusual knowledge comes from experience ranging from server rooms, to rainforests, to board rooms—or, if he just made it all up.
Lead Guitar - Paul Wood, Intact Insurance - Once played an entire gig while choking on a chicken bone. Posed in a shirtless law school fundraising calendar which sold two copies.
Air guitar - Micah Chartrand, Soby Boyden Lenz LLP - Has made it this far without actually knowing how to play guitar, but still thinks he’s Jimmy Page on stage.
Sax – Bradon Willms, Borden Ladner Gervais LLP – Joined the band after an assignment to do so was handed down by Loni. The band was looking forward to conferring rookie status on him and making him pack all gear to and from the gig, but this dream died when he proved to be a better musician than any of the original members after just one jam.
Drums - Some lender from JSS Barristers.
The Dissent would like to send out a special thanks to our friends at Jensen Shawa Solomon Duguid Hawkes LLP (or “The Advo-cats”) for lending us their very own David Marshall to fill in for Dean Phillipson on drums. David is our musical “expert” and resident hipster, who is dismayed The Palace doesn’t serve bespoke cocktails.
House of Lords
Joe Schuck loved being a lawyer, and he loved playing rock and roll. The Great Bar Band Battle was the perfect vehicle for Joe to pursue both those passions, and in 2014, he founded the House of Lords. Joe passed away in May, 2018, just weeks before the 2018 Great Bar Band Battle. With a little help from our friends in Harvey & the Specters, we were able to participate in the 2018 Great Bar Band Battle, and we are back for the 2019 Great Bar Band Battle. In honour of Joe, we will continue to play loud, dumb, hard and fast rock and roll. So if you want to rock and roll all night, and party every day, or if you are looking for someone to rock you like a hurricane, or if it’s only rock and roll, and you still like it, then come see the House of Lords on May 30 at the Palace Theatre for a rocking good time.
Rodney & The Welders
The award winning Rodney and the Welders are very happy to be back at the 2018 Great Bar Band Battle. After a significant dispute about charitable tax credits following a September 2016 charity gig, the future of the band was put in serious doubt. New management and a 35 city tour of Malta allowed Mike Pedlow (lead vocals, mechanic), Zeke Purves-Smith (harp, beer provider), Grant Stevens (guitar, baker), Brian Milne (drums, humour) and Wes Novotny (bass, van transportation) to find renewed friendships and refreshed common musical roots. Playing strictly chart-topping Norwegian folk/synth inspired blues rock and roll, the Welders hope their new sound will bring them a whole legion of (new) fans.
The Turbines’ roots are in 1990 at the Macleod Dixon Christmas party. Glen Poelman and Andy Robertson formed the band to play one song – Back in the USSR, to celebrate the firm’s recent opening of Canada’s first licensed law office in Moscow. They have played together ever since.
The Turbines have performed at dozens of venues in Calgary, played for the Prime Minister, and toured as far as the Crow’s Nest Pass. They are ready to play any event with their 5 hour repertoire. This extensive library of favourites includes hits made famous by pop, rock and country influences such as Chuck Berry, Fleetwood Mac, The Doobie Brothers, The Eagles, Johnny Cash, The Beatles, Billy Joel, BTO, The Mamas and The Papas, and of course, The Wonders. The Turbines feature bench strength from Glen Poelman (guitar) and Andy Robertson (keyboard, guitar, harmonica and vocals), and the talents of Lois May (vocals and keyboard), Geoff Poelman (bass and vocals), and Fosterchild alumnus, now real estate and criminal defence lawyer, Robert Matthews (drums and vocals).
Please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.